June 2010
Hello and welcome to the June 2010 Horizons Magazine, our 18th year in print!
I had a great experience this month of how I pivoted my bitchy consciousness around. I'm usually in a smiling, happy go lucky frame of mind 96% of the time. I'm happy with my life and seldom worry or have conflict. I get over stuff quickly. I roll with the punches. I don't let other people's words or behavior concern me. I'm my own boss. What's not to like? But I have my unconscious days also, days that I forget who I really am and let things get to me. Last week was one of those days. It gave me a chance to really show what I know when it comes to recognizing when I've gotten myself stuck in the muck, then using my will to focus my attention to pivot my thoughts to get out of there. Abraham-Hicks defines pivoting as to consciously change the direction of your thought. To deliberately choose a thought that feels better, about a topic you enjoy. It's the secret for getting through today's world, having the best possible time.
So what set my inner bitch brewing? It's hard to pinpoint. I was doing final layout for the June magazine and getting a lot of last minute calls and changes, as usual. I had a few friends that needed attention and I'm always glad to help. But in a few cases, I found myself feeling critical and having judgment about someone. Just a thought here and there, but the thought continued throughout the day, as my mind added fuel to the fire until it was blazing.
Let me rephrase, I ALLOWED the thought to continue throughout the day. It's a big distinction, to be aware that when a thought comes up, it only stays in my mind as long as I allow it to. Had I been conscious that I was beginning a downward spiral, that would have been the time to begin pivoting my thoughts. But I don't always notice it right away when I'm in it. Big things are easy to notice. Little ones that (I vibrationally allow to) sneak up on me, are not always easy to notice.
Then on Facebook, a few friends made comments that I thought sounded ignorant and hateful and I allowed those thoughts to add to the mix. Then I went outside to work in the yard and long story short, managed to really smack myself hard on my forehead with the handle of my pruners as the huge grapevine I'd just cut out of an oak snapped back at me.
My first thought was I was glad I didn't fall off the ladder I was standing on. My second thought was, ok, WTF is going on that I am attracting aggravation and a smack on the head? I remembered it was only ever all about me, and my perception. I remembered I was in charge of how I felt and what thoughts I chose to think. I remembered who I was.
I took a stroll down my Facebook Wall and saw my posts and comments (they are still there) and saw I'd been really grouchy and taking it out on all sorts of people. So I realized I'd done it, but I still wasn't pivoting too quickly yet. I posted: I was going to complain that Ofc Depot delivered 3 $1.99 mousepads in 2 separate boxes, each measuring 12x20 with a ton of bubble wrap. Then I thought, I should be thankful that - as bitchy and bossy as I've been this week - I'm lucky I didn't attract them each in 55 gallons drums full of confetti.
Funny? Yes, but I was still talking about it. Complaining about complaining is still complaining. I realized I was still vibing in a downward place when I found myself watching The New Housewives of New Jersey, and taking sides. Uh oh, big red flag there, even vibing in a place where I wanted to watch that posturing, bitchy, whiney show. (Oops, there I go again.)
Next I posted: I've been trying to force an Abraham-Hicks cd down someone's throat for their own good. Now they've misplaced it. Imagine that. Maybe I should stop trying to fix them and work on my own dang self. Imagine THAT. To everyone I've been complaining about this week - sorry - didn't realize it til I took a stroll down my FB page. I'm lucky ALL I got was a whack on the head with that judgmental nonsense. Ya gotta laugh.
Finally, 2 days later, I felt it turning around. I once again had enough presence of mind to exert my own will to focus my attention. This is when the serious pivoting began. I made my list of good things that happened that day, and things I was grateful for. Like I had a favorite lunch and all my plant seedlings were growing. My ficus was coming back after the frost and the weather was nice enough for no a/c. The June magazine final layout was on time and everyone was paying on time. I was having a good hair day. I love cuddling the cats and dancing in the living room. Ah, I felt better already.
Then I made my list of positive aspects about anyone I was feeling resistance over. I did Ho'oponopono for each person, and for myself, basically saying, whatever my part in this situation, I am sorry, I forgive you, I love you. And I did that until I meant it.
The next morning, I decided to create a couple of ads for people who had a new business, although they had not asked for an ad and I had not spoken to them about it. Or ever. It was part of my pivoting process, since I love to design. When I do that, I don't feel it's a wasted hour in my busy day if they don't buy the ad. I count it as an investment in my design practice, essential for pre-paving and attracting a future ad.
As I finished my email to Doreen at Nature's Spirit, asking if she'd like the ad I'd just created for her, I got a call from Delores at Rising Sun Emporium - where Doreen just moved to. Delores was asking about an ad for Rising Sun. I laughed and told her I'd just created a draft for her and I emailed it to her. Synchronicity? Maybe. Law of attraction? Fer sure.
I don't want to know what I would have attracted had I not remembered to begin my pivoting process and get myself back on track. I mean really, I don't want to know. All I need to know is what direction I want to be heading in and use my willpower to focus my attention and thought long enough to get me there.And don't let myself get wrapped up in anyone else's nonsense. That's all. Enjoy our offering this month.