The past month has been a whirlwind of changes: people coming and going, puzzle pieces shifting. I have 4 sets of friends and clients who are experiencing the same scenario, and it's interesting to watch the patterns emerge. All involve the dissolution of former business relationships. In each case, all of the parties were unhappy with the situation prior to dissolution, and were very vocal to others about it. In each case, one party felt betrayed and one party felt taken advantage of. In each case, both parties had their side to the story. In each case, one party moved on while the other kept repeating their story, even to new people who did not know the parties. In several cases, everyone was lying or exaggerating. Since it's such a classic lesson, I'll share it here with you. When a new friend began on the topic again, I told her my feelings:

“I didn't mean to snap yesterday when you asked, “Do you know what X did to Y?” But that is none of my business and none of your business and only the parties know what actually happened. Don't be the one to keep that gossip going, it can die with you right now. When you're talking to me about R or K, we're talking about something that affects your life and your business. If we're talking about anyone else, that's gossip and that's another karma you don't want. You know there's already a negative buzz in the air about your integrity over the PQ thang, I guarantee if you completely stop all types of gossip, your reputation in “the media” will improve. People will begin to pay attention to who you are now and respond to you from that place instead of the one in PQ's story. And you're the only one who knows what inner changes you've gone through and if you're the same person or not.

I'm always happy to help friends get clear and productive in their business. It's fun for me to help friends formulate goals and work toward them. But it's not fun for me if it turns out all we're doing is talking about what everybody else is doing wrong and talking behind their back (no matter what we call it and how we justify it) and never setting goals nor working on them.

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I see patterns emerging that indicate otherwise. When you asked me about X and Y, I could see the giant hamster wheel and am not about to step onto it. Sai Baba says, “Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?” I am not telling you what to do, just pointing out to you karmic patterns as I see them emerge so you can consider whether you want to break the pattern and settle that karma.

And I understand not everyone is ready to settle all their karmas. I have plenty of my own, I just worked from the outside in so mine are not as noticeable to everyone else any more. “Working from the outside in” meaning I made a goal and took conscious steps to listen more to people and talk less, to be kind in speech, to stop gossiping, to stop exaggerating, to stop criticism, to let people know I care about them, not just in words but in actions, to be helpful and generous and light hearted and optimistic. Those are the things people notice and give value to.

I try to keep those karmas in constant check, since not only did I fake it til I made it early on, but now it seems like the only way to live. At first it took discipline every time I was with people. I see what good things come to me because I've made myself be that way. I see finally that what I put forth truly comes back to me, so I get a real kick in helping.

I think that MM parting from your shop is evidence of you moving up the vibrational scale insofar as who you attract to you. MM was mirroring to both of us that we were in gossip and criticism mode. I don't like it there, I don't like what that attracts to me. So we won't do that together anymore. Let's move on from that lesson.” ### end of email

Her next email to me did more of the same!! I wrote, “and you just did it there again with X, you don't know all sides to that story yet you want to bring it up as a new topic here to me? Why? I wouldn't want the karma for that so please don't pull me into that chain of pain. Here again you are staying on the topic, passing along a story of only half the disgruntled parties in a situation neither of us have anything to do with. Do you not notice that you're doing this? I am not yelling at you, understand, you know me. I'm just surprised that story keeps getting repeated. It's old news and I thought everyone wanted to forgive and move on. Isn't that what we do the monthly moon ceremonies, and sweat lodges, etc. for? To release and forgive and ask God/Spirit's blessing for our continued good life? Isn't that forgetting Matt 5:24 “first be reconciled to your brother, and then come to me”?

But my point is we either just go through the motions of forgiving and releasing and wanting to move ever forward into more joy and conscious creation, or we just talk it and don't walk it and get stuck in our mindless rut of repeating old grievances to every new person we meet. It's a conscious choice what to bring into every single new day and every single new relationship. We make a choice when we open our mouths. Do I want more of my same life right now, or am I ready to step up the ladder? That determines what stories come out of my mouth.

You're not happy with X. He's not happy with you. Neither of you will tell the other, although you tell everyone else. Before there is any more bad blood between you two, you should move on. You've got other connections in the area and both of you can thrive in business without each other. And when you're not working together, everyone will go back to having fun and getting along, too. ” ### end of email

People forget what a small town this is. I do readings for lots of people in our community and they love to tell me what they know about everyone we know, and the stories get more interesting with each telling. Many of these are in business and are not doing very well financially right now. They haven't recognized the connection to them spending time each day passing stories along with their business being slow. Your business is only as slow as the number of people you need to make amends with. Spend that phone and email time formulating goals and giving thought to them and talking about them with friends, so you can make it out of where you are now and take that next step up the ladder. Get out and get face to face, one on one and make amends with everyone you know. It's a small community. It's a small planet. Too small not to be kind and helpful to each other. You're ready. The time is now. We are the ones we've been waiting for.