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Horizons Magazine

More about Andrea

SEPTEMBER 1999

It seems the heat wave is subsiding, does everyone feel cooked enough
already? Does anyone feel done yet? This September issue will be a
good one to hang onto and reread when that first scary storm approaches.
 This will be a robust season for storms and we're all going to make it through just fine.

I HEARD IT THRU THE GRAPEVINE
Since the advent of the internet, communication has been talking place all over the world at breakneck speed. I use that phrase intentionally because while lots of useful and meaningful communication takes place over the Net every day, it is also a place for rumors and myths run rampant. People receive all sorts of info from others and then forward it to all their friends without even checking to see if it's true!

Most recently, I received an email from a dear friend who has an extensive mailing list and he typically sends out only helpful and insightful info. This time he attached an email from someone, basically reviving the old rumor that the president of Procter & Gamble appeared on the Sally Jesse Raphael Show and the Jenny Jones Show openly announcing that profits from P & G products go to support a satanic church. I immediately called the Sally Jesse Rafael Show at 212-419-7400 and the Jenny Jones Show at 312-836-9456 and was told the interviews never happened. I relayed this info to my friend and he graciously apologized for not having checked the facts himself before passing it on, and forwarded my comments to his mailing list to correct it.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
My friend had originally received the email from someone who had credibility with him in the past and meant no harm, however while a few lines of the email talked about the P & G executive appearing on the show, and attributed untrue statements as coming from him, most of the email was an extensive list of P & G products that should be boycotted, along with a diatribe about christians banding together to stop this company from profiting. Now that took lots of time to type and a motive for doing so. A two minute phone call to the shows could have stopped the rumor right there. But this person chose to spend probably hours researching the P & G products and typing them up! I just don't get it.

STOPPING THE BUCK
Things like this don't happen when we stop the buck right in front of us. Rumors are dispelled when we call the source to check information before passing it on, no matter how harmless or helpful it appears to be. It's easy to get sidetracked from the real issue, and lose sight of the reason for doing something in the first place. The writer of the original email was clearly focused on "being a good christian" and trying to "stop the devil in his tracks." The only thing she forget was that the story was untrue. If we accept the premise of a particular story, the logic soon follows. What I'm suggesting is that we don't accept anything at face value, that we question everything we come across and determine, by contacting the "source" directly, whether that information is true, accurate and relevant right now in our lives. People like this are followers, although they often appear as leaders, and they are quick to jump on the bandwagon without having done their research first. They see a cause that they can fight for and they jump right into it, fists flailing. Never mind that they may be attacking an innocent person over an untrue rumor, what matters is they get to fight another fight, and get attention for themselves and their cause.

YOUR OWN BACKYARD
How many times have you passed on information that later turned out to be untrue and hurtful to someone, something you never intended? How often in your past has someone spoken something untrue about you to another? Weren't your feelings hurt? Didn't you feel angry at them for not checking with you first, before passing it along to others? If this type of thing is continually happening to you, it may be time to start being a little more mindful of what you say to others and why you say it.

WE DON'T KNOW WE DO IT
Sri Sathya Sai Baba says, "Speak only what is true, sweet and useful." Hmmm, well, so much for criticism and throwaway comments, huh? Doing this would silence a lot of people. We all know people who talk incessantly, whose every moment is accompanied by chatter, just a stream of commentary about nothing in particular, and criticism about everything in general. Do they do this on purpose? I don't think so. Do they really think they know everything? Not really. They're just a little nervous and unconfident of their surroundings, and feel the need to fill every moment with talk. They avoid the silence, because it calls the ego to walk out the door. In the silence, understanding dawns. In the silence, we can know anything and everything.
Making time for periods of silence teaches us to be more mindful in our speech, and thus in our thoughts and actions. And mindfulness is what almost everything is about anyway. I have hours in each day that I don't speak, and often a day in each week that I don't speak. If someone is here, we may spend the day writing notes to each other. It's amazing how quick you are to condense to a few written words what you may have droned on about for 10 minutes if you were speaking; following all the little sidetracks you do when you get off your subject; all the little remarks that may or may not be relevant but you just wanted to say them.

SPEAK ONLY TO IMPROVE THE SILENCE
When your only communication is the handwritten word, you choose your words carefully. You reorganize your priorities pretty fast. You think, "What is the most important thing to me right now, that I really need to communicate?" Taking time for silence alone or spending a day with a friend, using only handwritten notes to communicate, can be a powerful spiritual practice. Ok, I know you're grinning. "Andrea," I can hear you now, "you say everything can be a powerful spiritual practice!" But I believe that's true. Being mindful and having conscious intent is the key. In fact, it's not the daily rituals that you perform that constitute your spiritual practice; it's the consciousness with which you do them.

VARIOUS MINDSETS, VARIOUS RESULTS
There's a difference between doing yoga postures while watching The Home Shopping Network, and doing yoga in a sacred, prayerful atmosphere while you follow your breath in conscious awareness to every move of every subtle muscle. It's not a spiritual discipline if you sit when you feel like it and skip sitting when you want to sleep in; it's a discipline when you sit no matter what because that's the practice you've chosen.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN
Schedule a one day practice, taking one day to sit in silence with yourself. You'll be surprised at how fulfilling and fun this can be. Clear your day as much as possible, make a To Do List for when you're done, and turn off the telephone and the computer. If you make the To Do List before you begin, you won't feel you have to spend the first hour writing down all the things you want to remember to do since you're not doing them now. That's a trick of your mind, driven by the fear of the ego that it's going to be not in charge for the next few hours. When the ego vacates, the higher Self is more clearly recognized. So, just as you would pacify a child with a sweet, pacify your ego by making a detailed list of all the things you need to attend to for the next week. You may end up with a few pages, but that's ok because in the process of feeling pressured, the ego is bringing to mind all sort of things you haven't thought of before. It's a trick of the egomind to postpone your silent period as long as possible. Even this stage can be illuminating, since as you're making your list, insights into other areas of your life may come, which you'll also want to record. It's true, when you pick up a pen and begin to write, the word druids appear and everyone wants to have their say, so you may go off on many tangents at first. That's ok, it's all part of the process. In fact, everything in all of life is all part of the process.

ALL BY MYSELF
Ok, so you've cleared your calendar, made your To Do List, and turned off the phone and computer. The goal of the day is mindfulness in everything you do. If you've got some simple chores to attend to, do so with mindful intent of every move of your body. Do the dishes, being mindful of using your energy efficiently, being mindful of the amount of soap you use, feel the weight of each glass as you life it, and the smoothness of the surface as you wash it. Consider that no matter how often we allow ourselves to be used, and sometimes sullied, by others, we, too can come clean in the twinkling of an eye with proper cleansing. Be aware of the temperature of the water, and of the air as your hand comes out of the water. A nice reminder that whenever we get ourselves in hot water, we can always chose to rise above it. Feel the stability of the sink as you wipe it down, and appreciate the geometry of your kitchen. Remember the first time you saw it and loved it, and try to get that feeling place back for a moment. Look out the window and be aware of the wind moving the trees and the shadows cast by the sun. Notice the tiny lizard at the hibiscus outside your window, drinking from a dewdrop on the morning's fresh bloom. Imagine how that feels going down his throat and refreshing him. Remember that you, too, are refreshed by nature.

FIX IT WRITE NOW
You may want to read an inspirational book or just sit and notice everything around you closely, and see where your attention goes. Write down any thoughts and insights that come to you. If there are areas in your life that you'd like some guidance on, write down what questions you'd like answered. Be specific. One at a time, contemplate the question and write down the insights that come to you in response. Write as though no one will ever read your words; write what you feel and think and want. Contemplate what you've written. Contemplate the guidance that comes forth. Contemplate your reaction to the guidance that comes forth. Writing like this can be a powerful yoga and is a practice all in itself. At the end of the day, do a mental review and finish by writing what you thought of spending the day this way.

ALONE TOGETHER
You can also spend a day with a friend, using only handwritten notes to communicate. You should each have reading and writing material and plan to do a few silent meditations and prayers, to make the most of your time together. You can each journal alone or in a silent joint project together. Write down what questions you'd each like answered. Contemplate them. Follow the above procedure, but you both do the exercises alone. For this exercise, don't share what you've written with the other. Now or later. This will get you to do the deep work first.

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS
Exercises like these get you to focus more clearly on what is right in front of you, and on some level, it's ALL happening right in front of you. How you act and react in your own community is how others are acting and reacting in theirs, it's all a ripple effect. We are each responsible for how we perceive life and how we react to it. If there is need in your own community, spend your time and energy there rather than worrying about what's going on in Kosovo. If your own family needs you, no matter how much you get along or don't get along, tend to that, spend your time and dollars and enthusiasm doing service to whoever is right in front of you right now.

In a discussion with 16 year old April Holle of Concordia, KS, about whether an incident like Littleton, CO could happen in her school, she replied, with remarkably profound insight, "Since I am not there now, I don't think of that place; I think of where I am right now instead of the whole world. Where I am right now affects me more than the world. That's what dad has taught me... if you ignore what you have and only dream of what you could have, you squander life away." Remarkable words from a remarkable 16 year old. Where you are right now affects you more than the world. I salute you, April, you are my guru!