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Horizons Magazine
FEBRUARY 1999
Oh, what a great issue this is! Doreen Virtue reminds us, "Since every
situation and relationship is part of us, we heal the world as we heal
our perceptions." A Course in Miracles tells us that nothing ever
needs to change except our perception, and I know that to be true.
I've included my Happy Relationships And the Twice As Much Rule, and From This Moment On. It is my experience that if we spend twice as much time appreciating what we have and thinking about what we want, as we spend feeling dissatisfied and talking about our problems, our lives get easier and happier. And we can begin doing exactly that from this moment forward.
Alan Cohen describes how moments really matter. "All relationships," Alan says, "whether friendship, romantic, sexual, business, or spiritual, are built on moments of connection. The value of relationship is determined not by the quantity of hours, but the quality of moments." He goes on to say, "The soul, which thrives on becoming one with experience, lives in moments, while the mind, which thrives on dissecting experience, lives in time."
So if you're not enjoying your present moment, ask yourself what experience your mind is busy dissecting and why you're choosing to allow it to continue. I believe when we take hold of our unhappy moments and choose to turn our attention to something we enjoy, we are given more moments to enjoy.
Jonathan Robinson tells us how to charm the heart of our beloveds, and Jonathan says "The way we tend to express love to another is, in most cases, the way in which we'd like to receive it. When people are unaware of their partner's preferred ways of feeling loved, they end up expending a lot of energy that goes unappreciated" If you're feeling unappreciated in a relationship, maybe it's time to start paying attention and become more aware of your partner's preferences.
W. Allan reminds us it's "Better to concentrate on making yourself happy first before worrying about finding the perfect mate." No one is going to make us whole and complete except ourselves. Are you attracted to someone who's been just hanging around waiting for the perfect partner to arrive and take them away from their miserable life? No, so don't expect him to be attracted to someone like that either. Or are you attracted to someone who is eagerly pursuing varied interests and is excited about life and likes having a companion to share adventures with? I promise that when you get yourself so involved in Life that you don't have time or desire for a relationship, that's when they'll start falling into your lap.
Michaiel Bovenes suggests that "Rather than saying 'Love isn't the answer,' maybe your definition of love needs to change and mature." How many of us could use an updated look at our beliefs about love, whether it be romantic, familial or platonic love? My hand is raised here, and I think my entire generation could benefit from a little contemplation on this. In the interest of our further illumination, I'll undertake some personal research on this very issue and report my findings to you.