Andrea de Michaelis, Publisher

Hello and welcome to the August 2012 edition of Horizons Magazine. When do you help others and when do you help yourself? Did you ever think that the ones who go around giving the most advice to others would be better served by using that time to instead work on themselves? Thats the dilemma, though. When we are going through our own personal growth process, our own transformation, ascension, dark night of the soul, illumination, thats when we begin to seriously seek answers. While were still the unformed chunk of coal, we dont yet understand that the insights that come to us are meant for us not for everyone around us. Most often, the human mind/ego that likes to think itself separate and apart from others is in charge. To those newly upon the Path, the mind makes you think that you and you alone are going through this, that you and you alone are receiving information and guidance from a higher source, and that you and you alone are the messenger sent to save everyone around you, maybe the world.

When I first began to get the huge rush of serious guidance from within, I filled notebooks with volumes that I just knew was meant for everyone. I just have to get this information out there! I immediately began teaching and counseling. While I know many people benefited from what I had to say, the point is my mind had rushed me into sharing it prematurely; before Id fully understood it myself. Had I taken that time to instead more deeply contemplate what I was learning, the unfolding would have been much smoother and more helpful to everyone.

It was easy while I was teaching and counseling. Id spent all my time thinking of what my students needed to hear from me. With all my attention outside myself, I had no time to properly absorb the teachings I was so quick to give out. Thats what the mind does, it keeps us thinking, keeps us talking, keeps us looking for someone to interact with. As we begin to spiritually awaken and evolve in consciousness, its helpful to have someone whos been there and done that to make suggestions as to what may be most helpful in our journey. What can save them time, unnecessary emotional pain and karmic backlash.

Too often its the blind leading the blind, and we get entangled in the illusions of the astral world. We feel a spiritual longing, so we begin to attend classes and co-counsel with each other. Or we begin writing our book and spend more hours studying and editing and in endless discussion groups than we do contemplating the guidance that comes from within. We feel compelled to constantly edit and refine the words of what weve written, but too often it is the critical mind that never wants to be done with doing, because then its no longer in charge.

I was blessed decades ago to find a friend in Frank Maiello, a brother a little higher upon the Path than I, who helped mentor me as I learned. He saved me many stumbles and falls upon the way. Twenty years later a friend would give me high praise, How blessed I was to find you. Who so effortlessly showed me who I was and made me see through the lies Id been told and began to believe myself. Thank you.

Paying attention to what comes in and out of my body is a part of my spiritual practice. Its about mind, spirit AND body. I just threw out 4 cans of curry. Taking a look in my food pantry, I recognize my habit to over buy. In the case of canned goods, often by the time I think about using them, they are years past the expiration date. Today I realize that the state of my pantry reflects the state of my digestive system last week: a steady accumulation of too much food, so much theres no room for it all. Last week I got a good reminder of what happens when I do that. I shared on Facebook, I make poor food choices and I pay the price, its not like I dont know. And a few days later: Ugh my lower tummy feels blocked the last 36 hours. No food since Thursday, just clear liquids. No doubt it is a metaphor for me holding on to ideas or whatever that are better released. In the meantime, I went to the pharmacy and was advised to take Milk of Magnesia. Yikes, I never took something like that, I dont like meds, wish me luck. I know its a result of my eating a little too heavily the last couple of months, and its caught up wit me. I wont do that again anytime soon.

A nurse friend suggested a mix of 30ml of Milk of Magnesia and 120ml prune juice, warmed in the microwave. This friend was my hero! Apparently it was just a simple case of constipation, but it seemed giant to me who is used to all parts working well. I read on webmd.com that youre not

constipated unless it's been three days. Three days? Holy cats, I thought eliminating an hour after every meal was the norm. Granted my typical diet is fresh greens and watery soups, with chicken, fish and potatoes a few times a week. Guess I'm wimpier than I thought if this made me think something might be seriously off. One friend tells me she regularly spends 40 minutes in the bathroom several times a week and is constipated often. She drinks a liter of soda a day and eats a heavily fried meat and bread diet, very few greens, is a smoker and drinks coffee every day. Ouch. There but for the grace of God go I.

A friend commented on Facebook: "You're not embarrassed to write about everything."  I responded "I'm not embarrassed to write about what goes in my body or what comes out of it because I pay attention to it as part of my spiritual practice. It's about mind, spirit AND body. Plus I got a dozen private messages about this post, people telling me it happens to them all the time and they had no idea what it was.  I live for stuff like this: sharing info that is helpful to others about things I've gone through myself.

Stop Faking Orgasm; Know What Turns You On and Tell Him That
In a recent reading with Domino, we talked about her relationship with her new man. Like most men, he thinks my body is ready the moment he gets an erection. They've known each other 2 years and just recently became lovers. Now she's wondering if she made a mistake and if they're on the way to ruining their friendship. She and I have talked about this before with previous lovers. The simple answer is (1) know what you like, then (2) tell him and show him. If you're intimate enough with this man to have sex with him, you're intimate enough to discuss it with him. If you know what your body responds to, honor him by telling him the sequence of touch and caress that gets you there. If he forgets and acts hastily, slow him down and remind him. At first, if he's not trained to be real conscious about sex, be prepared for him to get his feelings hurt and stop altogether. Believe me, that's preferable to faking an orgasm and becoming more and more unsatisfied without him knowing it. If he has to be continually reminded, she has to decide if it's worth the hassle.

He typically initiates interest and she thinks then she is initiating foreplay by touching him. He obliges her by lying back and allowing it, and not reciprocating touch. He thinks she's ready for intercourse when he is. As far as he's concerned, that's enough foreplay. Since she hasn't td him she' not nearly ready, he doesn' know it. His mind is on his own needs. Not wanting to cause yet another argument over it because he "efuses to remember what she likes,"she doesn' say anything. She hastens it to be over, fakes yet another orgasm, walks away unsatisfied, all the while letting the resentment build up inside her until she calls me. That' no way to deepen the bond between them and that�s also no way to train him.

She balks at having to remind him, "f he loved me, he'dremember." t can be simply a case of her having trained him to be selfish by faking satisfaction. If he' not conscious in other areas of life, don' expect him to be conscious of her needs in bed. If he continues to ignore your needs, decide whether the rest of the relationship is worth it. And don' just stay there because he pays the bills. That' too high a price. An illumined male friend suggested: " man who only cares about his own pleasure, especially if he keeps forgetting, may need to be kept in the friend zone. Every woman deserves better."

WE ALL DESERVE BETTER. We train people how to treat us by how we act and react with them, and by what we allow them to get away with. Family, friends, coworkers, everyone. How do yours treat you and when will enough be enough?
Enjoy our offering this month.
Hari Om.