August 2007
Horizons Magazine
Hello and welcome to the August 2007 issue of Horizons Magazine. This summer's weather will be the same as last summer, and isn't it beautiful? The mild weather we've had to date also means the hurricane season will be easy for us again this year. Bear that in mind when the weather forecasters start pointing out every little storm that appears on their monitor! The severe weather of 2004-05 was needed to spin the climate back into balance and it's also reflecting the balance that we ourselves are coming into.
Last month at a morning service at Unity Church of Melbourne, I sat behind a chair, idly watching the pattern and color during the meditation. As I looked closer, something struck me. I looked at the other chairs around it and in front of it. It was the only chair I could see that had a different background pattern than all the other chairs. I found that interesting and it felt significant to a particular situation in my life. I contemplated the metaphor that what I was looking at in that situation was different than what everyone else was looking at. And I wasn't responsible for it being there or it being different. I was just being the observer. I will give that some more thought.
As we've known for years, it's all about intention and I read with enthusiasm Lynne McTaggart's fascinating Intention Experiment, see page 9. It shows that with healing, the most effective approach may be, as with other forms of intention, have a goal in mind, then move aside, let go of the outcome, and allow a greater intelligence to restore order. Isn't that an interesting concept? Give up? Let go? Release it? I had a chance last month to do just that. A situation came up that required me to release something very dear to me and even knowing what I know, it wasn't easy.
I spent last full moon weekend visiting the springs up in north central Florida just chilling out. One reason I went on the trip was to give myself a chance to release some old patterns I could see emerging. I'd been on a writing binge the past month, pondering what things mean to me. I have over the years compiled an extensive collection of provocative questions asking what I want and how I feel about my life. During silent retreats, either alone or with a group, these questions would be answered as a personal development exercise. Whenever I need to release anything, or need a reboot to my system, or need to figure something out, or need to get out of a rut, or want to upgrade my situation, I take along these questions and get myself off by myself in some new scenery and give myself a few days of immersion in self. If I'm honest and stay focused, I learn a lot and move forward. If I'm a brat, I goof off the whole time and only later realize I'm still stuck in the stuff I went up there to resolve…
This trip was more fruitful than I'd hoped for. A friend loaned me her cabin. I spent much time journaling overlooking the river, and I kayaked twice in 3 days, both times with people I don't know well. These are events I don't often do so I think about them for days afterward. I journalled in my workbook, I took time to think and process. After sundown, I meditated on the night sounds; they were comforting and intriguing and I'd follow the moon across the sky in an all night vigil, a favorite full moon pastime of mine. Each morning the sun would peek through the heavy woods and I could hear the small woodland creatures prowling around outside, digging up sprouts and raiding the bird feeders. With each dawn, I felt lighter and freer of more layers of my “stuff” as I pondered questions such as “What would I benefit from releasing right now? What is in my life right now that no longer serves me? What am I no longer willing to give attention to, in order to more fully focus on the more important things and people right in front of me? I was surprised at how my answers unfolded. I even drew and painted some of my answers.
The first morning, I walked down to the outpost where the canoes and kayaks are rented to see if there was anyone there I knew, since it was full moon time. It had already been a synchronistic week and I wasn't surprised to see several familiar faces and I agreed to join them in a trip downstream. The metaphor of that was not lost on me either. I wanted to, as Abraham-Hicks says, allow myself to float downstream for awhile. I find most things I can't work on alone, although I can figure it out on my own. Figuring it out is one thing, but to practice it, I need someone else there playing Devil's Advocate, pushing my buttons. Kinda cool that there's no shortage of that. People wanting to push our buttons, I mean. Hey! Some people PAY to have their buttons pushed!
Before my trip, I was experiencing some minor conflict with several people (me being one of them) and trying to figure how best to negotiate the territory. I know that how I move through this discord with this situation will determine the shape that future situations will take. Whatever lesson I can learn from this and work through now, that is one less lesson I need to repeat in the future. If I heal this, then maybe we can all move past it together, right now. If we're able to agree to release from our joint lives the part that is no longer working for us, and to do it with respect and grace, then we can move into the next level of what we're meant to do together. But if not, at least the stage is set for a healthier more open and harmonious next time, and either way, everyone wins.
I know I get as much unconditional love from others as I give. If I want someone to look past my faults, then I can't keep pointing out theirs. If I want someone to care about my process, I have to care about theirs. If I want to be shown attention and affection, I have to show it first. Knowing this, I still get into that head space with some I am close to where I only want to give love if I am shown it, I only want to show interest in their life to the extent they show interest in mine. I only want to be open and light and playful with them if they are being that way with me. That's not unconditional. That says “I will only give you back what I get from you.” But if we only give back what we get first, we may lead lonely lives. That's why we want to see past appearances and past the seemingly neurotic tendencies of those around us. We want to release from our consciousness all past perceptions of who they were or who we remember them to be. Allow them to be new in each moment now. Release the thoughts about them that no longer serve the relationship.
During my retreat, I pondered that we are all in each others' lives in the first place because we're all vibing at the same rate. To the extent I can see past the appearances and see the higher vision, to that extent can I help that higher vision come to pass. I pondered that we can draw that out of those around us. We can help draw out of them more of who they can be. As Abraham says, act with everyone as you would under the best of circumstances. Treat them well no matter how they treat you. Be pleasant and kind and helpful even if they are being sarcastic and flippant and mean spirited. If we can do this, if we can put ourselves in that state of allowing and reduced resistance, then we will either draw forth those traits from the ones we're with, and we will come in harmony with them, or they will begin to leave our experience as those who are more a vibrational match to who we are now begin to appear.
Either way, bless them for being in your life to help you practice getting it right! Because you know if you just storm off and huff away from this one without working it out, you'll just more of the same until you work it out with someone. You'll get the same package of problems and lessons, just with a different face and body, over and over again until you choose one to work it out with. Just do it and get it over with and get on with your happy life.
I pondered that in relationships, often one comes up in vibration and one goes down in vibration as you interact. We've all done that. You want to help cheer up a friend who is down in the dumps and you find yourself instead falling into their abyss. Then it's not about them at all, you've become your own anchor, dragging yourself down and them down farther. I am always willing to help a friend who is passing thru a rough time until they got to the other side. I am not however, one of those who will stay in a rocky situation and do the dramatic, emotional going back and forth with each other. But I can get initially caught up in it the same as everyone else. I may just catch it a little quicker - hopefully.
I have the advantage of knowing how energy anatomy works and knowing that it's just a matter of energy management between the parties, knowing to catch yourself as you enter a downswing, knowing to release and recharge on a regular basis. Whenever you interact with a new person, it takes a while for the shakti between you to sort itself out. Whether it's business or personal, the energy dynamic between the two of you will drive the relationship and ultimately it all comes down to how you manage your kundalini.
In the personal growth field - and if you're reading this, that means you - we are always in the process of moving kundalini, whether we actively engage in physical practices or not. If we pray, we move kundalini, if we meditate, we move kundalini, if we intend and do visualization work, we move kundalini. When we have compassion, we move kundalini, as we overcome fears and work through personal psychological issues, we move kundalini.
So our shakti, our kundalini is being moved and raised all the time whether we know it or not and whether we work on it or not. If we are not working on it, it is likely to be working on us. But we can also can decide to set a schedule to raise it as a daily practice. I find that makes it manageable for me. Being an Aries times 5, I can get the shakti squirting out all over the place and really run my physical and mental bodies down if I'm not careful; if I don't do some energy management on a regular basis. For me, good energy management results in keeping myself stored up like a battery that I can draw upon whenever I need it.
In conventional society, where you don't know diddly squat about personal growth or self help - unless you're in AA - where you don't meditate, where you watch tv and read newspapers, you keep up with celebrities and discuss politics and sports and have a 9 to 5 job, these people have found a routine that is comfortable and safe, albeit some might say superficial.
When we enter the personal growth field, wait. what is it called these days? Self help? Human potential? Self realization? Personal discovery? When we embark upon this spiritual journey, it is because we no longer find satisfaction in the superficial life. It's like we are agreeing with the Universe that we want to make changes in our lives and want to break free of our habitual patterns of thinking and being. Or maybe not wanting to be free of anything, maybe just agreeing to put yourself in a more receptive posture to accept and allow wherever the Universe wants to direct you.
When you make that decision, your kundalini begins to rise. As your kundalini rises, any dross remaining in dark places in any of the chakras will be burned through. As you release - through whatever process you use - whatever no longer serves you, kundalini is then able to move upward unimpeded and, as it does, your state of consciousness evolves and your perception broadens. As your perception broadens, life becomes more meaningful and satisfying, more manageable and malleable.
How do I know that's happening, that kundalini is rising and burning through my old blocked stuff? Well, I take a look at my life. If I have second chakra issues (sex, relationship, money) that are unresolved, then as the kundalini moves through that chakra, it is going to activate opportunities for change in the areas governed by that chakra. It is going to bring up everything unresolved in those areas. That means ex-boyfriends will contact me out of nowhere (I am not kidding, I just received a call as I typed that). That means I'll be fired from my job. That means friends will betray me. Anything to do with that second chakra that I could benefit by learning is going to show up as a mirror in the form of people who are working on the same issues, being thrown right in my face. It's the Universe tossing us all in a tumbler together, letting us work off each others sharp edges between ourselves.
Then people ask, “Why would you want to initiate that process if you didn't have to? Why even bring up old stuff, emotional baggage, in the first place if you're just going to release it? Why just not drag it up in the first place??” And for me the answer is that the alternative would be unbearable, as in the Anais Nin quote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” As Dawna Markova's I Will Not Die an Unlived Life.
I want to work through my stuff and get on with my happy life and so far, so good. If I know this is what is happening, I can manage my energy a little better while it runs its course. I can take time to attune myself to the subtleties of what is happening within me.
Why do I want to tune myself to the into the subtleties of what is happening within me and pay attention to it? That's easy. So the things in my life don't have to break down and fall apart in order to teach me a lesson. If I can keep myself relatively mindful and open to change and in recognition and understanding of my part in whatever I am experiencing, I can minimize how it shows up in my physical, 3D world because it will be taking place in my inner cinema, in my emotional and psychological world. It doesn't have to extend to my external physical world unless I am ignoring the subtle signals and hints.
I can also begin to contain and regulate my energy by adopting exercises to direct the energy flow within me. These can take as little as 20 minutes a day. Wise teachers point out it's best not to directly try to awaken kundalini. I feel it's useful to breathe my core energy up into my heart, especially during those times I feel high energy. I feel I am storing it up like a battery; it invigorates me and helps settle my scattered mind. Each time I do it, I feel more uplifted, more buoyant, more peaceful, more stable, more resilient, more receptive, more open, more attuned, in a greater state of expectancy, of wonder, and I see the world through a new lens, the more I do it. It's like the shutter opens wider and lets in more light and there are less shadows and I have a greater peripheral view, and - everything - it's all so much clearer in the new light. That's why I suggest everyone embarking on a personal journey of self discovery do some conscious breathing exercises to get their shakti under control as they wind their way along The Path.
I recognize that in my lesson with my friends last month. Anytime someone comes into my inner circle, we typically will meditate together to attune to each other's energy. If we do this at the beginning of each meeting, we stay attuned, we have harmonious interaction and we stay on purpose. If we don't do this, we tend to act and react more from a superficial, personality level, which isn't always real conscious, and that's what happened with my friends and me in last month's conflict. And we all know it's about energy management. As I understand it, all “neurosis” is simply unmanaged or mismanaged shakti. I always suggest friends read The Kundalini Experience by Lee Sannella, especially those I will be meditating with, so they know what personality changes to expect as the serpent winds her way up the spine. And I'm not naive enough to think I don't transmit shaktipat to everyone I come in contact with, so I just take responsibility: “I asked you on this ride, I'll make sure you travel safely.“ And to the extent that I keep my old stuff released, to that extent am I a clear channel and safe traveling partner.
And for you serious students of Eastern philosophy, I don't mean shaktipat in the sense of a guru on high granting to lowly student chela, I mean in the sense of I know the good stuff is inside me, I know it bubbles out on everyone, I mean in the sense of being contagious with whatever is inside you. If I am going to leave a slippery slug trail wherever I go, and energetically I do just that, then I want people around me to get stuck in my happiness and in my joy and in my desire for them to have what they want, and in my feeling of “this is getting better and better every day,” and in my feeling of “we're all in this together, and isn't it great.”
And when it bubbles up, and when a friend gets stuck in it, and when their muscular and endocrine and nervous systems start acting wacky because they are not used to this new sticky substance, when they start feeling like they are having a nervous breakdown or midlife crisis , when they feel panic and neurosis setting in, and they can't get away from you fast enough - well * smile * welcome to the next rung up the ladder, this is ascension, welcome to the next vibratory frequency. This is all part of the process. These are just symptoms of kundalini moving and blockages being cleared. All the attendant body and mind reactions are just like getting your sea legs on the ocean for the first time. You're in a different vehicle than you've ever been in, on a different surface than you've ever been on. You're there, but you're shaky and feel insecure and self-conscious. But if the guy next to you says, “Hey, you're doing great man, you'll get used to it in no time, it'll settle down, just do some deep breathing and keep your eyes focused on the horizon and it'll be smooth sailing in no time. And if you let yourself, you'll have the ride of your life.”
At the writing of this editorial, the situation of last month resolved itself amicably and we're all relating in a more healthy way now, having released another layer of “our stuff.” My exercises in digging within myself resulted in me making some needed changes in my thinking, which has already resulted in my outer world changing to reflect that.
Finally, in the interest of personal discovery, I invite all former friends, mates and business associates to email or write me and give me an exit interview, telling my strong points, my weak points, and anything you'd like me to know. You won't get in trouble for it, I promise! I'm far less passive aggressive than I used to be * smile* You can even send it in anonymously if you wish, or through someone else's email. It is not my intent to print them in Horizons, rather they are for my own edification. If I decide to reprint from them, I will ask you first.
So this month I've learned or
been reminded of:
Goodbye to one form of relationship doesn't have to signal demise of friendship.
If I'm able to be honest with myself, I can help direct my own spiritual growth.
If I'm able to surrender and allow, it won't be too painful.
I need others to push my buttons to help me practice what I know.
How I move through discord today determines the pattern from which I form future interactions.
I get as much unconditional love as I give.
If I want someone to look past my faults, I can't keep pointing out theirs.
If I want someone to care about my process, I have to care about theirs.
Those annoying ones around us are all in our lives in the first place because we're all vibing at the same rate.
The sooner we figure that out and get over it, we can get on with it.
Twenty minutes a day, sitting doing conscious breathing, will change your life and bring order and peace.
We're all contagious with whatever is inside us and squirting it out onto everyone all the time. Make sure it's good stuff, like kindness and compassion and understanding and humor and flexibility.
There's not much better in life than floating downstream with a bunch of happy others.
Enjoy our offering this month.
Life is good!
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