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Horizons Magazine
FEBRUARY 2002
Choices & consequences, peak experience & kundalini awakening,
tantra & celibacy; and yes, you CAN be happy without a partner
Welcome to February 2002! Thanks to everyone who writes and emails telling me
how much you enjoy reading Horizons Magazine. It's truly a pleasure and a labor of love
getting to put it together for you each month. I feel delighted and blessed that I get so
much great feedback from readers, since it's because of your feedback that I know what
you want to read about. Bear with me if it takes me a little while to return a call or answer
your email; I love connecting with everyone and I do so personally. And, while I'm in the process of embracing an ever-increasing understanding of the unified field, I'm not yet able to master the state of consciousness required to bi-locate myself in order to be two places at once. As soon as that happens, one of me will have plenty of time to return calls and answer email, while the other gets all the "work" done *hehe*
A friend asked me once, if I had a tail, what kind of tail would I like? My immediate response was that I'd like a prehensile tail like a monkey has, so I could use it to pick up the phone and retrieve faxes and do the filing while I type :)
We've got lots of good articles again this month. We start off with Louise Hay, from her You Can Heal Your Life Companion Book. In 1984, when her book You Can Heal Your Life was first released, it marked a turning point in mainstream consciousness, and was a major impetus for the trend in spiritual publications. She writes about change, and what can happen when you change your thinking. You are the one who determines whether you choose to view each day as a hopeful opportunity, or not, despite outward circumstances. Wow, this is powerful stuff, and Louise says it in a way everyone can understand. No hocus pocus, no airy-fairy theoretical diatribes, just plain good sense information that can change your world.
Lloyd Thomas says that "the primary reason for not fulfilling your New Year's resolutions is they are not yet practiced enough to replace those habits already programmed into your subconscious mind. You continue to engage in the same old behavior you resolved to change." Boy, does he have me pegged! I guess that's why they call it spiritual "practice." The Universe gives us lots of opportunities to practice what we want to change, once we've declared we want to change it.
Rev. Beth Head reminds us that "with every choice, we design our lives, our workplace, our world." She goes on to say, "we have to choose to make responsible choices by contemplating the consequences of our actions." And not just the consequences to us, but also the consequences to everyone around us, to everyone affected by the choice. The Native Americans make decisions based on what the consequence will be to the next seven generations. Do you look ahead that far when considering consequences? (Oops, do I?)
Roy Eugene Davis, a direct disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda, gives a basic meditation procedure that is easy to learn and practice. He suggests meditating 20 minutes morning and evening, and doing it for at least 30 days before evaluating the results. I've had people tell me they "just can't meditate," yet anyone who commits to sit for the full time period, 30 days in a row whether they're getting results or not, is bound to benefit from it. It's too easy for them to give up as soon as their mind wanders the 10th or 10,000th time in a row, so they give up after a few days of sitting with no results. It's too easy to keep thinking they can't quiet their mind. However, all the while, it's just another thought that needs to be released.
Dr. David Hawkins shares some personal experiences with us, of coming into greater awareness of the world around him and his relationship to it. He describes what I call peak experiences and kundalini awakening, after which, he says, "the accepted reality of the world began to seem only provisional; traditional religious teaching lost significance. Compared to the light of divinity that I had felt bathing all existence, the god of traditional religion shone dully indeed."
I can relate to his experience. I was brought up to believe in a particular God, and thought for years that anyone who didn't believe as I did was sadly misguided. And that I needed to illuminate them *hehe* In my 20's and 30's, I spent time in various religious and spiritual communities, (and even a cult or two, a baptist friend would say) and during each I was exposed to a different concept of God and religion. With each exposure, my understanding of the Creator expanded until I began experiencing what I would call a personal relationship with God. My concept of God continues to expand as I commit myself to daily spiritual practice.
Knowing only one religion is kind of like having a roadmap of Arkansas. You can go all over the state and get to know all the main roads and back roads like the back of your hand. So the roadmap serves you real well. As long as you stay in Arkansas. If you want to drive to Wyoming, however, you're gonna need lots more information than an Arkansas roadmap gives you. You're gonna need 3 or 4 more maps. All of them will be unfamiliar to you if all you know and all you've been told about is the Arkansas map.
The sensible thing to do is consider where you're heading, figure out where you are, and familiarize yourself with the new destination as much as you can ahead of time. You do this through information gathering, talking to those who say they know, and then embarking upon your journey prepared for what you anticipate, yet open to new experiences and what you may learn from them. This goes for travel and for exploring new spiritual and religious belief systems.
The problem comes in when someone tries to tell you how to get to Utah from Wyoming and all they have is their Arkansas map. And they don't understand that their map is of no use to anyone but them, right where they are. They keep repeating louder and longer, often not realizing that any state but Arkansas exists in the first place. Many fundamental christian groups fall into this category, so remember this the next time they're at your door and in your face. Don't cut them too short; they're just trying to help you get to where they think you really want to go, and they think it's their duty and mission to tell you how to get there.
And I'm no different. I feel it's my duty and mission to bring Horizons Magazine to you, and to offer for your consideration the ideas contained in each of the articles. Through putting into practice the ideas and beliefs that Horizons offers each month, the quality of my life has improved via increased peace of mind, improved health and fitness, and financial consistency. Since my understanding of these ideas and beliefs has helped me so much in my personal and professional life, I want to share what I've experienced with whoever else seeks what I've found.
I have come to understand that just writing or saying the words doesn't mean that the other will hear you. And just because the other hears you, doesn't mean they will understand what you mean. And if they don't understand you, when you don't give them a series of bridging thoughts to help them get from what they know to what they seek, they cannot benefit by what you say. The bridging thoughts are like the maps through Oklahoma, Kansas and Colorado on your way to Wyoming. You're not gonna get there without them.
I believe 3 of the clearest authors on basic understanding of the nature of reality are Louise Hay, Caroline Myss and Marianne Williamson. I believe the clearest channelled teaching of the last 50 years is the Abraham-Hicks work (www.abraham-hicks.com) The words of these teachers can take you from the prevalent socially accepted yet misunderstood notion of 'reality," into an expanded view of who you are and what is happening "behind the scenes" via non physical energy patterns. Their books and tapes give an extensive overall foundation of knowledge with which to build from. They are all excellent "bridges" to understanding broader concepts.
Michael Mirdad in this issue writes about sacred sexuality and tantric sex practices. He notes that while "tantra is becoming a common term and is being used to market everything from jewelry to sensual oils," tantric sex is only one facet of tantra. Tantra is an entire lifestyle, just as yoga is a lifestyle and encompasses much more than merely body postures. The concept of true tantra, as in true yoga, is an entire state of consciousness that imbues everything you do with a sense of oneness and connection. It seeks to commune in a holy manner with everything you come in contact with, animate or inanimate, animal, mineral, vegetable or etheric. It treats everything with utmost respect, kindness and reverence, and celebrates every thing at every moment. A commentary on the Vajra Sutra states "Tantra teaches to live in an orgasmic state of being. That is what living a tantric lifestyle is all about."
"The first part of this Sutra says to remember the beginning (of sexual union,) that is - do not be in a hurry, do not become anxious for the end, the release. Men, do not hurry to ejaculate, forget about ejaculation and relish the warmth of your partner. Women, do not hurry, nor rush your partner to ejaculation. Enjoy your partner's feel and become one with your partner. Do not use sexual union as a movement toward a goal. Become timeless, be in the ever present. Remain in that present, become the union. Hurry in sexual union exists when Love does not. When you hurry, you are not becoming one, you are using the other person for your release and the other is using you for the same purpose."
Michael Mirdad writes that "The concept of celibacy comes up for nearly every student who embarks on the spiritual path. Yet it should be clear that celibacy, by definition, is when you make a personal choice to abstain from sex." Some people complain about how unnatural celibacy is, that it leads to frustration and physical ailments related to the reproductive organs. As always, though, it is not the activity (or non-activity) that causes the "problems," it is how someone thinks about the activity or abstention while engaged in it. If someone has made a conscious choice to abstain from sex, and is content with their choice, they're not going to experience frustration or pathology. The Vajra Sutra goes on to say, "Real celibacy is when you are whole, fulfilled and your mind does not dwell on sexual matters. Because a person does not have sex does not mean a person is celibate. Many people who claim to be celibate merely suppress their sexual thoughts and urges."
Although I was previously married, I've chosen celibacy for extended periods in my life and suffered no ill effects from it. My time was spent doing a variety of projects I enjoyed, and spending time with friends on the spiritual path and, for the most part, sex seldom crossed my mind. During these times, I was mostly without media contact, so I didn't have the tv surprising me with titillating images and the radio wasn't bombarding me with codependent love songs or - worse - pop songs with sexual innuendo. I spent most of my time in the company of others who were doing the same thing I was doing, so our attention was usually otherwise engaged.
The last few years I've chosen not to pairbond because I've just got so much other stuff going on and I find emotional fulfillment through my friends, my family and my practice. I just don't yet miss having a partner and can't see having sex with anyone who's not a significant, long term part of my life. I've learned how emotionally and psychologically attached we humans become to those we are intimate with, and having casual sex carries more consequences than I'm interested in being responsible for right now.
One thing I always like to impart to those who ask is, yes, it's entirely possible to live a fun and fulfilling life without having a partner to share it with. I enjoy my own company, I enjoy spending time alone and look forward to solo projects I design for myself. I love to travel alone and just drive wherever I'm led to drive, and do whatever I'm led to do. I love to get somewhere and find a spot to sit and write down my thoughts and aspirations. I love to camp in out of the way places and cook and make tea over a campfire. I love to spend time in my garden and in my home. I enjoy cooking for myself. I enjoy dining out alone, sometimes taking a new book along with me. I feel so in love with all my friends and family, that I can't imagine feeling any better if I singled one particular person out to pour love onto. It will be nice when it comes along again, if it does. But it's equally blissful as it is.
My thoughts on relationship at this point in my life are: First, I want to make sure I have a happy and fulfilling life, doing all the things I think of doing. I want to be involved in my own personal growth and spiritual development. To this end, I regularly attend weekly discussion groups and classes, as well as church services, and plan little vacations and retreats for myself. I figure, if I am going about my life doing what I find fun and informative, sooner or later I'm gonna glance over and there will be some who are walking alongside me, involved in the same activities. It is likely from these that I will choose my future partner.
Not that we can only find happiness with one who is just like us, because that's not always the case. No matter how different we are, if we focus on our similarities when we're together, we'll find harmony. To the extent that we stay focused the things we like about each other, and how much we love and respect and honor each other, to that extent will everything else work itself out just fine.